This is a common issue that comes up in couples and family work and I just wanted to take a minute to talk about the different kind of boundaries.
Physical Boundaries: This includes your personal space such as a hand shake, hugging or even kissing. This is calculated on the setting. Physical boundaries are violated when someone touches you or invades your personal space and you don’t want them to.
Intellectual Boundaries: These are your thoughts and ideas. Intellectual Boundaries are violated when someone dismisses or belittles your thoughts and ideas.
Emotional Boundaries: This refers to your feelings. Healthy emotional boundaries include being able to decide what information you choose to share with others. Emotional Boundaries are violated when someone criticizes, belittles or invalidates another persons feelings.
Sexual Boundaries: This is a combination of emotional, physical and intellectual. This is violated when you experience unwanted touch, pressure to engage, leering or sexual comments.
Material Boundaries: This is your personal property and assets. For example it might be appropriate to share with family members but not with someone you just recently met or a distant friend. Material Boundaries are violated when someone steels, damages or manipulates someone to give or lend them possessions.
Time Boundaries: This is how you use your time. Set aside time for important things such as work, relationships and hobbies. Time Boundaries are violated when another person demands too much of your time.
Take some time to decide what your life would look like if you were to improve your boundaries, how would others respond? Share some ideas on specific actions you can take to improve boundaries.
Question: Do text messages and online chatting have the same boundaries?